just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
That's when you crack a 10am beer
Just got a orange juice for my grandma, put gin in it without thinking. She's having a good morning.
Considering last night's endeavors, I am going to hell 5 times over. 1 for puking on a hobo, 1 for laughing about it, and 3 for remembering it today and laughing about it sober
I woke up to him climbing naked through my bedroom window with a bottle of jd in his hand. Of course I had sex with him.
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
You can identity the picture as me the mistress his wife and him. It's that kinda awkard.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
I'm not gonna lie. The only reason I haven't drank a whole bottle of crown tonight is because we only had 3/4 of a bottle left.
He's passed out. He nodded his head when I asked if he's alive though...so there's that
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
The guy that stalks me just looked out his window and saw me in his neighbor's hot tub. Get your shit ready the fraternity wars are starting.
Hey I can officially say I made out with a drug lord.
It's hard not to feel like a terrible person with bruises on your tits.
Hey Girl, we got home safe!
I know, I drove you
Randomize
