ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
i dont think my parents would of encouraged me to save years of birthday money if they knew what i would eventually spend it on
I wish there were college classes that were useful to your daily life, like how to pack a proper bowl in pitch black darkness.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
You okay?
I walked into work with a banana and a loaf of bread
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
She's comparing the feel of breasts to shredded cabbage. Weirdest. Grandmother. Ever.
Why is your ex naked in my apartment?
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
You wear a dinosaur suit one time and everyone thinks you're a furry. Fucking hell, man.
Honestly I volunteered because the email made it sound like it was a once in a lifetime opportunity to be a sexual spy kid.
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
I am that special "drink water and be grateful I'm alive" kind of hungover
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
Randomize
