This guy has a retainer. We're golden.
Did the walk of shame past her kids. I'm younger than one of them.
He is like that thing on the menu you would eat because nothing else looks remotely edible.
I woke up with ten beers in my bag that hoarded at the party last night. Rally? Its five somewhere.
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
He passed out drunk on top of me. Fully erect. Still inside me. Woke up like 1 minute later, and continued.
in hindsight, the duct tape banana hammock was a bad idea.
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Fell in the ditch running from the pizza guy I stole the pizza from. If you are still at my house come find me, pretty sure I need stitches.
"lets watch the sunrise" turned into "lets have sex on the roof at six thirty in the morning"
if the future wants me to fuck him, then i guss i have to
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I'm going to smoke the pathetic stems and miscellaneous particles that weren't good enough for all my other bowls because its all I have left. This is my bag's Rudy moment.
Like did I tell you about the ex Amish guy? Because that was a mess
Don't do it. He's got a dick the size of a baseball bat. You don't want that commitment.
I have to. For the sake of science.
Randomize
