my ass hurt today after the party last night. I wnt to the doctors and they found a coin in a ziplock bag with a note from you. WHAT THE FUCK DID U DO TO ME???
well since you're still married, you will be paying for my abortion right?
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
I'm still trying to decide if it's a complement when he said "I'd like to subscribe to your daddy issues".
I need a good reason NOT to eat this entire jar of nutella right now
I love you. I'm too high for this. Find a way. Make it happen. Live strong.
she's living proof man. somebody has literally pissed in the gene pool
...But it's not like we would be the first people to pay for an abortion with student loans and cell phone rebates.
So I managed to get the bitch who has been copying off me all semester in History to copy the names of Pokemon towns off my test.
But he was wearing a glow-in-the-dark condom. It was like a glowing rod of kryptonite. I can't resist that, kryptonite is my weakness.
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Apparently mid making out I got up and said "I need to figure out my life" went in the bathroom and threw up for two hours.
You -do- realize there are other things to talk about than just how different parts of you smell like pussy, right?
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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