Kiss
Puke
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
you had a panic attack, pissed yourself, and started crying. you never go above the kiddie level of my lil bros schools haunted house ever again.
round 2?
EVER.
I don't plan to be alive for 2010 so ima say this 12 hours early. Happy New Year bitches
the only bad part about drinking alone is that in the morning there's nobody who can tell you what you did
Day two of taking my adderall. I just organized the pantry and alphabetized my dvds. I've missed my mind on drugs
is this the sara with the beer cane?
the first sign of life we got from you was four hours later. you smiled without opening your eyes when tom whispered in your ear we were getting buffalo wings.
By round 4 of the Dead End shots, I thought my jaw was dislocated ... Best invention EVER.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I think I'm emotionally ready to start being a slut again. I'm excited.
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