Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(774): View more from Massachusetts

I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.

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(978): View more from Massachusetts

Ever since I told them the story of the sex in the canoe scandal its like I am in season

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(678): View more from Georgia

And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger

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(908): View more from New Jersey

After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.

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(270): View more from Kentucky

Someone please drive out to my house to bring me a beer.. There are some in the fridge but I just can't get up

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(765): View more from Indiana

I just learned my tits were fire resistant. I should join the freakin circus

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(720): View more from Colorado

she was braiding my hair and singing forever young while she vommed everywhere at the same time. Talent.

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(+44): View more from United Kingdom

you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.

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(443): View more from Maryland

the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.

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