Weren't you self-described as an 'arab' slut?
No?
Well my cheeks are red now
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
Still losing my voice, so I am trying to get it back through drugs. Welcome to my Monday logic.
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I DON'T EVEN KNOW ONE MINUTE IM SITTING HER THE NEXT IM FLYING PASSED THE MOON
PISSING MYSELF IN ZERO GRAVITY
THOSE AIN'T STARS U SEE TONIGHT GURL
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
i just added a shot of fireball to my iced coffee. goodbye sobriety.
So apparently my mom hired someone who goes by "DJ Dog Dick" for the family christmas party?
He texted his hospitalized grandma while inside me, so really a perfect gentleman.
Yes. Life would be much easier if we had penises & could do whatever the fuck we want.
I feel worse lying to the guy I hooked up with than I actually do for cheating on my bf
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
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