Hehe I wanna Australian kiss.. Its like a French kiss but down under ;)
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
He brought over a 20 dollar bottle of wine. Who does that? This is college.
i was trying to find the best way to say come over and have sex, without saying it.
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
just threw all of the fireworks into the bonfire. thats why there are firetrucks.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
there are ass prints on the hood of my car.
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
There's a drag queen here that reminds me strongly of you. You should try crossdressing.
Why is there no Netflix category for "I just wanna cry, but I don't have time for a whole romcom"?
I climaxed at the same time the bass dropped. I think it's safe to say I've reached enlightenment
I woke up naked in this guys bed and the first thing I start saying is it's super bowl Sunday like I was yelling
He seemed genuinely disappointed when I told him I wasn't going to make out with him to Bring Me To Life by Evanescence so I feel like I've pinpointed the breaking point of this relationship
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
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