oh, also, we're locked out of the house and we're going to have to take shelter with the hot, poss single, dad next door. i hope this turns into a porno
in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
With such a small dick you'd think he'd try to make up for it with some sort of personality.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
It may be that your sole purpose in life is simply to serve as a warning to others..
you dragged me by my throat over to the shots. this is a new level of alcoholism..
We were eating hotdog buns dipped in French onion dip in lawn chairs at 4am. That drunk
He had a shameless baby voice when he was talking to my dog. There's no way I'm making it through the night with my clothes on.
Life gets in the way of sexy Saturday sometimes
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
the yoga instructor with the "dirt" and "roots" tattoos is seriously mother nature. i get my period after ever session i have with her. i'm trippin' balls over it.
You know you're getting old when you pick up hot sorority girls at the bar, and they write down their phone number, and under it 'we're great babysitters!'
Randomize
