Believe it's possible to jerk off while watching the food network.
there are seriously like six guinea pigs in my bathtub right now
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
He was sitting at the table eating ice and said, "I'm pretty sure everyone in my family has nipples."
She said we could only have sex if she got to keep her fake moustache on during
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
You should come by for the fire station blow job tour
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
I woke up today in my boxers hugging a log and realized that I think I've gotten close enough to nature. I really need to stop doing shrooms with you
Dunno. My heart says "no", my brain says "maybe" and my dick says "YES YES FOR THE LOVE OF GOD YES!!"
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Do you remember feeding the vacuum doritos last night?
I covered the puke with a shingle there's not many chunks. I think it will blend quickly.
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