We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
Just got a full body massage. It was uncomfortable at first, but then I realized I let strangers turn off the lights and put their hands all over my naked body 3 times a week anyways.
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
The salesman looked at me like I was crazy when I explained the need for a headboard that had slats so I could handcuff people to it
i think if i got caught drinking at work i could get away with it if i started crying and saying my cat just died. as long as i'm confident.
I tell myself every day I shouldn't be friends with you
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
I was chasing moonshine with vodka last night. I'm still not sure how I'm sober right now.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
Lol, yeah it'll be fun,but will it be cereal and dick pics fun?
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
Plan before tomorrows interview: wash off green glitter from EVERYWHERE!!!
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
