census says that i am hotter than the girl you just left with...sad for you
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
Just got a hand job during Charlie St.cloud I honestly never thought Id thank Zac Efron fir one of his movies but thank you
I kept feeling my boobs..just to make sure they were still there.
Also I feel like 60% of our relationship is based on sausage mcmuffins.
I just sent a friend request to someone saying that i was the girl he shared a fifth of jager with last week. Thats something special. He better accept.
he grabbed my head and said "you are a horse. I am leading you to water" pushed it down and whispered "Drink."
Nothing like a 3am firealarm to kick a booty call out...
This text is addressed to sober me: getting drunk by yourself may have seemed like a Good idea at first bit it can tell you that it wasn't ad fun as you thought it would be
Ps your lap top bag is FULL of empty beets
He's just giving off this "someone be a bitch to me" vibe
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
he fucked me wearing a cowboy hat and made grits after
We call him Texas for a reason.
I'm pretty sure i doubled the number of dicks I've ever touched, last night.
He asked when the last time I had sex was. I had to look at the clock and respond "12 hours ago"
also, when i showed up he started talking to me and eventually asked me if the girls treated me well. i went on to talk about my sex life. he was talking about his secretaries.
Randomize
