A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
somehow you got everyone naked by playing strip rock paper scissors.
The goblet must only be used for good. And vodka. And anything t-pain would be proud of.
you were upstairs in your room looking out your window and saw him puking in your bushes outside. you then proceeded to open the window and sing Come To My Window
I wish dancing around my house in my bra and underwear to Love Shack whilst eating strawberry cake batter was an acceptable form of exercise.
We stared down the barrel of pure insanity, took more and the electric elephant god rewarded our fearlessness by giving me golden skulls and naked women crawling out of the walls. I love acid
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
She kept asking for cigarettes, than just put them in her purse as "savings"
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
ok NEVER tell the strippers its your birthday. i think i have to burn these clothes and take a bath in bleach
I literally ended up in this basement and was tangoing w my friend and then I peed in a supply closet and had to be put to bed
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
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