I just sneezed everywhere.....everywhere. Now no one will talk to me.
I feel like someone was just looking at my memory and took out an eraser and was like "nope he doesnt need that"
well after we realized that his best friend and my twin sister were hooking up it was kind of an unsopken agreement that we would too
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I would have gladly let him decapitate me with the way he was biting on my neck.
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
My dad used the quotation mark gesture with his hands when he asked how my "roommate" was doing.
That may be because I drunkenly sent him a pick of you two curled up together like kittens. Two very buff kittens.
I walk in and my roomie is fucking her bf while wearing lingerie and minnie mouse ears. Right in the childhood.
The last thing I remember was wearing a sombrero and trying to do cartwheels in the club
You did one successfully. Then smashed into the wall
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
Got robbed by an ATM. My weekend officially sucks.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Verdict: uncircumcised.
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
Randomize