Your brother just successfully got half the bar mostly naked
Anyone ask you how much a bj cost yet? That shirt is so whorish
I'm at a Rock of Love themed party. New high? New low? I can't tell.
Wait. Scratch that. It's not themed. These girls are just sluts.
I just got hit by a car. I'm fine; I'll be to the bars in about 15
I bought the love spell lotion from victoria secret so it atleast smells like a girl is present while I'm masturbating
His band may suck, but it's not like I'm sleeping with all of them.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
Yes, I am about to pass out on my beanbag with a mason jar of wine. Welcome to the south freshmen.
I can't tell if they're having sex or watching the beach scene from Saving Private Ryan. All I know is I hear explosions and men screaming and crying
I can't answer my phone I'm at work
I slept with a male stripper last night. Priorities
Roommate is hosting a 'sorority retreat' at our house. If you need to get laid, stumble on over.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
it doesn't matter what you do now, you will forever be known as the girl who fell off the roof
nooooo! we need to brain storm. I need rebranding....what if I start always showing up with my cat or a wacky hat?
try again roofio
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
Randomize
