The only thing I've had to eat today was the half eaten sausage biscuit I found on my chest when I woke up this morning.
smell my finger.
I bought a nasal spray, my nose needs to be in order by the weekend
Okay, thats embarrasing even by my standards and I've thrown up while wearing a viking hat. just a viking hat.
im already regretting the extreme lack of break up sex that took place
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
I saw it and almost just was like "Ice breaker: your penis is massive" but I didn't.
Last night was like blooper reel sex. He dropped me!!
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
That's probably why white girls drink so much espresso. Piledriving coke and vodka crans takes a fucking toll man
At one point I was counting his nipple hairs to calm myself down.
so hungover. idk whos house or comp im on
Randomize
