I'm watching a show called "I didn't know I was pregnant" on TLC...Apparently this happens enough that there is a series
These 3 days between Christmas and new years when all the bosses are on vacation are essentially a competition to see who can do the least amount of work
I'm just not sure how to initiate the "do you want to have sex with my boyfriend and I" conversation
Well that wasnt the exboyfriend i expected to hook up with today
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
I invited you and you fucked me in the face with the penis of disappointment and shit.
I'm not worried. All I have to do is not be the drunkest painter at 8:00. Golden.
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
Not my type. One of those types that loves that they're educated, could drink their red wine and have an intellectual conversation and have a wonderful time
An adult?
Just so you know, classy bitches change the morning after in a CVS bathroom.
My heart is swelling with pride right now. I fucking love you.
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
As a general rule of thumb, I don't call until the claw marks have healed.
I guess that's what I get for clicking on a link that says clown penis.
I was eating leftover taco bell in bed at 3 in the afternoon. I can't throw any stones
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Randomize
