as for my dating sex life, no more regret sticks. Only pride wands from now on.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Somehow ended up at a stranger's bridal shower. Everyone else is already drunk.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
These pubs in Ireland act like hand jobs aren't the universal currency
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
The president of the frat said he was honored to award me "Best Overall Blow Jobs", free admission to all their future parties, and a $20 gift certificate to Denny's. I'm not sure if I feel proud or if that's just the burrito coming back up...
Also, what are the symptoms of syphilis?
She said I was the most selfish person in bed she's ever been with and she's fucked Tucker Max.
I borrowed a glass of wine. And the bottle. Your cat said it was ok
you smell like cheap hookers & chicken nuggets.
Got home. All the lights were on. All the doors were unlocked. My room was covered in beads, there's puke in the sink and of course our toilet is still broke. I'd say it was a decent Mardi Gras
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
I have had my dick inside of entirely too many people at this wedding in order for me to be the groom. Please give me a swift kick in the dick to wake me up from this nightmare
Randomize
