Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
I'm sooo using this pickup line: "Baby, its not the 2.5 inches... Its the 200 pounds behind it"
Your mom has a birthmark right next to her nipple
i dedicated my morning wood to you.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
well judging by the amount of dired blood around my nipple rings i'm gonna assume it was a good night
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
hes out at the street wearing a tophat and a monocole and carrying a cane and greeting every car that drives by
he just went across the street and into someones house and we could hear him inviting them over from the front porch
Thanks for fucking me in last night
TUCKING. TUCKING ME IN LAST NIGHT
Our music was glorious. Maidens were deflowered to the sound of my voice.
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
Your shirt... Was in my pants
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
Jus pulled over and stole. Corn out of a. Field. ... get on my level
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