woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
OMG! Someone dumped chocolate soft-serve in the bathroom! Dibs!
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
Its official. I've reentered slutty territory. I was a condom away from having sex in a childs playhouse at a park. Oh and I lost my car keys.
hey dude come in here and see how much of my beard i can put in my mouth!
You would be too ashamed to ever love me again if you saw the filth I just created. It brings unspeakable dishonor to the nacho dynasty. Like I raped the king's daughter, cut off her hands and made him eat them that's how hard I fucked up nachos.
damnit. I just found my cousin on tinder.
It all started because he put my damn phone in his pants. By his crotch nonetheless.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
Because you touch yourself at night.
...What time of day am I supposed to do it?
No, it's like a legit blood drive. It's not just her out in some parking lot with needles and ziplock bags
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
Randomize
