I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
I think you're the first person to ever call Louisville, KY a "romantic getaway".
Her boyfriend only talks to me because I know her period schedule
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Just met me in 10 years...this lady keeps an emergency wine cooler in her bag
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
If one of us has to be polite I guess I won't sneak out while he's in the shower
When you're really drunk, Japanese toilets just have an unnecessary amount of buttons.
You're still my best friend even though you continue to pass out on random toilets every time you drink
I was on top for a full on make out when in dead silence "I'm moaning Myrtle" came from the TV. Moment ruined. I got cock blocked by a fictional ghost
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
Randomize
