i just walked with a girl who was carrying a chair down the street. apparently she got mad at the bartender and took the bar stool when she left.
when we were having sex and i started crying and telling you i missed you..why couldnt you stop and tell me how you felt or make me feel better?you kept going...
the girl next to me in class just threw up in a waterbottle during our exam.
I love Welcome Back Week...No I wont accept your god but i will accept that hot dog
just found the land before time on youtube... I'm so fucked for finals
Currently doing my walk of shame down a floating dock. No more guys who live on a boat EVER AGAIN
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
He added his name to my To Do list. That's the way to my Type A heart.
I come from a long history of big boobed German, Swedish, and Irish women. And then there's me. Mother nature was like "Naaaaaaah."
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
Went home with a dude from UF last night. Just dripped chicken onto my phone and then licked it off. Going to pick up a bridesmaid dress. Mid 20s in a nutshell.
Oh my god.. Saw a commercial for Captain Morgan. Made me gag a little bit.
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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