Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
Ah why did you tell everyone you dragged your sac across my face!
I just saw a woman point to her daughter and scream at her husband THIS IS YOUR GENES, THIS IS YOU.
Just ate cheeseit crumbs off the floor. i feel like Kirstie Alley.
i did make 45 jello shots and that makes me feel more productive then any paper would
He poured the shots. We did them together. I cheersd him out of the shower
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
wouldn't be a true Fourth of July without dropping acid at 9pm on a Monday
FREEDOM
I need to learn how to not be a fucking liability
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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