I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
it doesn't mae me god, the fact that I am god makes getting dressed futile and tedious... btw i am still drunk
if my spotter knew I was listening to the Wicked soundtrack on my iPod, I wouldn't even be mad if he dropped the barbell on my throat
she carries around a jar of peanut butter. "just in case".
i woke up to the sound of my dad getting blown. this is my life
I held his ankles while he hung off the top bunk attempting to get my pillow that fell off.
I'm standing outside of the bar watching homeless men teach a kid how to pee of the sidewalk.
Im in the bathtub drunk. Less than an hour before the interview. This will be the best or worst career move ever., support?
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
like I licked Molly off a boys palm last night at a bar I think its ok to eat chicken once a week
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
He told me he loved me and I told him I shit myself
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
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