This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I just found ouut you can get a DUI in a kayak. Fuck.
She jerked me off while she drove us back from Denver going 70mph. It was both the scariest and most erotic moment of my life.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
woke up on the kitchen floor in the recovery position. at least drunk me remembered sober me's emt training
John stretched a condom over his face and tried to puke in it.
This cabbie knows where I live. Both awesome and weird.
I don't remember anything after falling in the ditch, but I now have confirmation that my rib is broken. Never drinking again.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
You need to get out of there before he falls in love with you.
Our entire day shift is on either molly or acid. I'm about to take two hits of the latter.
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
I have cats now. Five of them.
Have you considered starting a global domination firm?
Randomize
