Yes. UR adorable in a weird way.
It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Almost accidentally stole a baby... explain later
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
I still think it's messed up that you're naming your kids after all the guys you slept with in college
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
A gay guy went down on me in the club bathroom and then fixed my makeup for me
its gonna be a great night
don't judge my taste in strippers
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
I had one beer! ONE BEER! They took shots in mourning of my tolerance last night. My ability to drink is a joke.
I'm so high right now that I winked back at a character in this TV show.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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