Do you think an esthetician would be willing to wax the Chanel Cs into my crotch? That way, whenever a guy gets ready to pound on it I can go "Careful, it's Chanel."
I mean i stumbled out of the club yelling at random people" I"M GOING TO TEACH YOUR KIDS SOMEDAY!!"
And thats what homeschooling is for
We can smell you smoking weed from downstairs and your little brother is asking why the upstairs smells like gasoline. Please smoke in the basement. XOXO dad.
Just say you're the husband at the front desk to get in. She's in room 15 at the ER.
what? who is this?
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Great news I took pics last night
Warning: most of them are of you peeing while I take selfies
I bruised my dick hopping over that fence last night
My passport was stamped in Canada two weeks ago. One step closer to uncovering wtf happened that night
His whole street is under construction. Third walk of shame this week & I'm getting a lot of sympathetic nods from the workers.
Don't be alarmed when we finally get naked and I let out a WOOHOO!!!
Thursday is not a good day to become a felon... It's bingo night
I'd like to preapologize if you or your mom see me naked at some point this weekend.
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
