i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
Hurry up. We're trading phones to prevent drunk texting.
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
omfg. get on facebook. the science olympiad team had a rave.
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
They fucked on my pong table last St. Patty's and broke it. I feel like I should be hiding my new one. Would hate for a tradition to form.
Beer and cheesecake and spinning in cirlcles why did you let me do this to myself
Hey, what did you end up doing with those ski goggles?
Anything is possible. I didn't even know I was wearing the toilet cover as a hat
I am not a slut. I'm just very open with how much I love to have sex. Stop judging.
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
Randomize
