I just got back to Nicks and I shoul dnot have drank this much when I have to work at 7AM!!!!!
Nice meating you last night
Not a typo
Did Neil Armstrong say the moon was too far away! NO! He built himself a fucking rocketship is what he did!
Well yesterday i made out with the entire football team and rifht at this very moment our waiter looks like a ken doll. Straight up. And he gave me wine so ill probly make out with him
college has opened so many doors for you
When they saw it was the 7th inning of the baseball game one took off running for the beer stand while his friend is yelling "BUY THE KEG"!
Just called the bar: "hi this is the girl who you kicked out for excessive bleeding, do you happen to have my coat?"
Tipped our cab with a photo booth pic of us, a paper dollar, a dollar in quarters, a crest white strip. And a tanning pass valid in boston
All I want is tacobeell and your body
that's my favorite sentence you've ever said.
It's was about average. But he had a tat on his thigh that said "pull-out n' rollout" so I won't have to worry about a round two request.
I'VE CAME 4 TIMES TODAY. I AM AS DRY AS THE SAHARA, STOP YOUR WHINING.
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Just gave my thesis presentation, pretty sure I made out with the admissions woman last night.
I want to meet people. Preferably ones with penises
It was like mission impossible.
but with sex.
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