she was licking his armpits.
asian porn is just fucking weird. End of story.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
Its like no one cares im drunk naked wet and ready to throw myself at some one hold on i found a solution to my problems
I love pie. Pie understands me and the spatula
i'm scootering my little heart out so i'm not late for a weed pickup. this is the meaning of adolescence
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
I don't know if we can compare high school reunions anymore. The keg stands started before 7.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
Tolerating him while I'm not drunk is like trying to find a word that rhymes with orange
I apparently asked the bartender for a plastic bag and told her I was gunna puke then grabbed two handles from the bar then put the handles in the plastic bag and left.....
I just bought a butt plug on Amazon prime day and you're the only person I felt would appreciate that decision
You know why I love being a regular at this bar? It's because at a certain point last call is only a suggestion.
The salt made it so good this margarita is touching my soul. I swear I'm not high BUT I want elote in a cup with the insides of a shrimp taco. I think that would make my life complete.
Have you considered murder?
Other than my credit score and this bowl of oatmeal, not really. It's very messy
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