you turned your livingroom into a bong?
Kay wants to put chicklets in our cooters to make beavers and take pix captioned Got Wood? Taking public transit does scary things to her.
people are starting to question the shark bite story
Dude, we totally smoked up inside a church organ last night. Add this to the epic list.
I had five suicidal voicemails from him when I woke up this morning. They all started and ended with "DON'T FUCK MY ROOMMATES".
It was only one, it doesn't count.
Just suggested things for my dad to get my mom for Christmas in terms of "yeah you'll get laid."
Apparently drunk me was getting hit on and i wasn't into it so i shouted "Stupify" at him like i was fucking harry potter then went to the pizza place next to the bar and punted some guys pizza box out of his hands. :(
My going away gift was all of them dancing around with solo cups on their dick and balls...these are my friends
Just saw our highschool guidance counselor at the bar and he's taken six shots in the last hour. Those teenagers have fucking hardened him.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
Operation: 12 Dick pics of Christmas was a sweeping success, thanks for asking!
Just remember, it's never too late to make a porno
I just got CPR certified, don't make me need these skills so soon
He went three whole days without making a star wars reference, of course he got sex
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
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