@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Why am I getting the stink eye from these people? They're acting like BYOB isn't kosher in a laundromat.
Just think of all the blizzard sex people are having right now
In all seriousness...vodka, almond milk and chocolate syrup make a decent white russian.
You called him your tasty little crouton. Which actually wasn't the weirdest part.
I've discovered that regular handcuff keys, sadly, do not work on real police handcuffs.
Are you coming to the bday night? i'll be doing a life-like reenactment of traveling through Bonnie's vaginal canal and taking my first breath of life. Don't think you'll want to miss it.
I can bring a slip n slide and curtains.
I think the saddest part about my sex life is that most of it is pity sex.
That all sounds beautiful. All I have to offer is my shining personality, extensive amounts of space knowledge, and I hear I am pretty not sucky at sucking dick
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
if i drink i'll go into liver failure but ok
totally worth it, dude its $1 pbr
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
So if your sore it's because you tried to tackle a tree last night. When I told you at the party, you said "What do you expect, I'm an athlete!"
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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