Listen: if you or anyone else at work finds a starfish in a bowl, just leave it. It'll be gone by next week.
Better yet, if you find it can you put it in the mini-fridge in your office for safe keeping? Spanks.
And if it's going to get me in trouble, maybe just don't mention that I know anything about it.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
i really wish someone from a royal background would fuck me so i could literally say i was 'royally fucked'.
he made his penis look like a sprinkler when he was coming. it was pretty cool actually.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
I really wanted to suck your dick, but I also didn't want to miss any of the movie
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
We did it in the bar bathroom and the bathroom attendant sold us a condom. I love Nashville
The thing about pooping in the woods during hunting season is you never know if someone's watching you.
Egg rolls and cum. Not my worst snack.
I made out with a 40 year old and told her we were dating then got kicked out of a gay bar. This is the day I stop drinking.
Just so you know, it is really hard to rehydrate when everything is spiked with everclear.
Last time we had sex i was dressed like a ninja turtle and someone else was in our bed, so this time should be fine.
I hope ur kiddin
wish i was
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