New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
he found you with your pants down, trying to straddle the urinal. no one should have to see their sister like that. ever.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
The chick I hooked up with last night is my girlfriend older sister. Who is in town visiting. Who I just met. Who I just had dinner With. Who is here along with their parents and the whole family. How did my luck get so bad?
Just start grabbing cocks. It can't go wrong! Just say you thought you knew him and wanted to check.
Drunk me wrote a bucket list last night. #4 is "hate fuck a childhood enemy". Can we make this happen?
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
The guy next to me just said he wont play beer pong on principle. Im scared.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
FUCK the WHO, FUCK cancer, I'm gonna eat fucking bacon.
Despite breaking my phone, thumb, and my dignity, last night was pretty good.
He started humming a moment like this when I was taking off his pants.
I'm sorry I get my lefts and rights confused because I'm dyslexic. But, it took you at least 15 minutes to figure out it wasn't your room OR YOUR HUSBAND.
Randomize
