Houston.. we have a drinking problem..
Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
Unless I'm getting a singing midget telegram, I'm not going to smile
He wanted me to blow him while he was playing guitar hero. there will not be a second date
great sex! but now the fight over who sleeps on the wet spot starts.
I told him that all frat guys do it... it was that easy to get him to go down on me.
i feel like arbor mist is too classy for that. you need a colt 45
Yeah you're right. The one time when arbor mist is too classy
I am far too hungover to deal with the fact I can hear you masturbating in the bathroom.
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
dude can you explain to me why i woke up on your sisters floor with moutain dew and chips everywhere
i dont know im at your house.
I am become drunk, destroyer of all worlds
If hypothetically I needed to puke on the bus... how would I go about doing this.
FIVE TIMES AND I HAVENT GOTTEN OFF ONCE
literally yelled NOOOO right before he finished .. yelled “five times and I still haven’t gotten off” when he was still inside me ..
Said “don’t worry I’ll get myself off tomorrow” to top it all off
He’s tiny, hairless and humps my leg when he wants sex. He’s basically a chihuahua
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