Chill out big head. its weird when girls look at dudes asses
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
i just found out that washing ur bong in the dishwasher works. its been a productive day
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
This whole night would have been avoided if the liquor store had air heads
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Pulling over on the side of the road to set off fireworks was the worst idea you have ever had. I don't care if it was called a friendship pagoda.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
Nothing quite like walking through a spider web on your way back in from smoking to fuck up a perfectly good high.
I went from swearing off of sex to planning a threesome. It's been a rollercoaster of a day.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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