I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
i hate this light. i wouldnt even hook up with me in this light
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
you were sitting on my toliet with a double cheesburger in your hand asking me how the cheeseburger even got there.
I woke up to her vacumming the grass
I don't want to talk about it but I will say, that was the best two headed $68 blowjob. Ever.
Or I could just give you a blow job and make it up to you.
No, that's okay. Don't worry about it.
Going once.....twice.........sold to the girl who didn't really wanna do it anyway.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
If you need to be the damsel in drunken distress make sure it's before 3.
i was trying to figure out what "tidy fucking" was when i realized he meant "titty fucking" and i need to start banging smarter people....
Friend as in 'I used to have sex with her' or friend as in 'I still want to have sex with her'?
Honestly I don't even have room for feelings after that Taco Bell
I'm sorry I couldn't bail you out, apparenty they dont take credit cards over the phone. Did you at least make any friends in jail?
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
Even if they did assume we were doing kinky shit, it's not like they're gonna be like, "HALT SATAN! INTAKE SOME JESUS AND VOMIT YOUR SINS!"
Randomize
