I'm gonna die fat and alone and all they will find is pizza crusts
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
I never thought I'd say this, but there is a life threatening amount of rumpleminz in our freezer
She just tried to talk over a fart. The fart was way longer than the sentence she originally wanted to say so she just added gibberish to the end. Gross
I woke up tied to my bed while she was in the corner staring at me while eating cereal. Interesting night!
Well I never thought in the future I'd be able to say "hey remember that Easter I made porn?"
I am debating about my sub. I am not quite sure I can be the dom he needs.
Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"
I feel so bad for your roommate
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
It's only just- an eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth, a nude for a nude
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
New fact of life: getting Becca high never helps any situation at all ever.
I just learned in class that female whales slap their fins against the water and then ten males come and fight for her yet we can't get guys to text us back
welp,tonight ive reached new levels. by new levels I mean,i showed some guys my boobs for water. on your tab.. the most pointless thing ive ever done. either we should hang out way more,or never again.
I sent him a blank text because I didn't want to "drunk text" him.
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