i'm signing you up for texting rehab
the real housewives of new jersey finale is tonight. it makes me wish we had pot.
I showed him my bush... on skype.
Yeah. He most definitely jizzed himself in the face.
it only took me 1 hour to write 8 pages. i'm never doing school work without adderall ever again.
Just dominated the men's bathroom at work. Sounded like the intro of a death metal song.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
5 out of the 6 of them cut their hands while trying to shot gun the beer, I had never seen balls attached to such patheticness
People said that when they tried to talk to me I answered that there was a glass around my head stopping me from answering them
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Want to run by the liquor store later? Tequila Youn should really be in attendance at Party Mountain. No one else could be our spirit animal.
The site I use to study flash cards keeps showing ads for truck companies hiring drivers. It's like the site is saying "hey, we all know there's no hope for you, just give up and Become a truck driver."
I'm gonna face reality, tomorrow morning is not on my hungover agenda.
To the point, I hope I remember where to put my dick when I finally get laid again
You have a 50 50 chance
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Randomize
