Texts From Last Night · Random Texts

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(313): View more from Michigan

this girl and her friend just showed up at my house. standing together, theylook exactly like the number 10. this has cockblock written alllllll over it.

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(209): View more from California

Michelle and I recorded her bunny humping it's little rubber black ball.

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(571): View more from Virginia

I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive

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(734): View more from Michigan

I googled Canada's legal age of consent. I have good news. It's 14. Justin Bieber here I come...

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(917): View more from New York City

i have a new found respect for you. the amount of people you must have cockblocked last night is amazing

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(828): View more from North Carolina

Just walked out of my apartment and came face to face with a shirtless dude playing with his balls and trying to tie his shoes.

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(360): View more from Washington

DIN'T JUSGE NE.

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(646): View more from New York

Just me, my martini, and my backup Martini.

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(412): View more from Pennsylvania

Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.

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