I love black thongs
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
there's a picture of you and pauly shore at a starbucks on my phone
No, I don't just love you because you have big boobs. I just wouldn't visit as often.
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I love spring semester, so many high school girls visiting that think I'm the sexiest man alive just because I'm in college
Aren't you gay?
IT'S NICE TO FEEL WANTED DON'T RUIN THIS FOR ME
Wasn't his fault he kicked a hole in the wall, they should have never tried to give him a bath after tequila.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
Are cops allowed to hit on you if they're in uniform?! Serious question.
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
Let's get this straight. I am six fucking feet tall. Do you even understand how limited my options in guys to date are? No. Did you see my last three boyfriends? I looked like a fucking giant next to them. So I will fuck this six-foot-seven Italian model even if I am the ugliest girl at this party because, goddammit, I deserve to.
Randomize
