i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
we just ordered 30 dollars worth of french fries...whats wrong with us?
His mom told be she once got turned down for playboy. 1 biggest mistake Hugh made. 2 is she hitting on me?
Imagine a baby lion feeding on an injured gazelle and it tasting fresh blood for the first time. That's me and this breakfast sammich
He grabbed onto my boobs while slipping on ice then proceeded to drag me down with him I'm not predicting head in his future
Note to self: do not take so many shots that you sit on the floor under the bar where nobody can see you, and reach out and grab peoples crotch.
I JUST MACED MY OWN FACE
This is by far the best text I have ever woken up to.
He left his shoes, boxers and socks at my house & managed to walk home to his dorm without realizing anything was missing until 3 days after. That's the last time i'll ever hook up with a freshman.
The only thing I accomplished today was naming the bag of wine I've been drinking
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
He's rescued me passed out naked on the playground next door and I've rescued him passed out naked in the middle of campus. That's why we're a great couple.
what the hell is that chicken wire thing she's holding?
An artistic expression of her stupidity.
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
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