You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
everything is bigger in texas. Including my drinking problem.
worst. lesbian. ever. i'm not sure she knows a clit from a pencil eraser.
It was like fucking a house. Down the chimney. That deep and empty.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
Its a bummer that corporate america doesn't believe in $2 u call its on a Sunday night
We found her. She's owling on the sink in the bathroom.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
Next time I think buying tan-thru bikinis is a good idea, remind me of that time I passed out in one and burned the epic shit out of my pussy.
When was that?
Yesterday. Bring aloe. For my pussy.
what better to celebrate not being pregnant than to eat a bowl full of rum soaked pineapples?
They need to eat meat, go down on me the first time, every time, and know how to pull my hair. And there's a height requirement for this ride
They say find what you're good at... Evidently that's showing up late for everything, drinking, and eating cheese for me.
Fuck it, i havent messed around in half a year. I have sexual tension with a fire hydrant.
Okay she just told me to turn the volume down on the fan. What does this even mean?
Randomize
