he kept looking at my chin until i asked why, then he just said he was making sure his balls didnt leave a mark.
she offered me iced tea and went to go change.then her dad came in the door.i thought i was on how to catch a predator.
I've been deciding between brands of bagels for 20 minutes. This why I doint smoke weed.
the last thing i remember is you screaming lets hunt humans.
we fucked while he was on the clock. He didnt even take off his bullet proof vest. Dont tell me thats not bad ass.
As I was throwing up blood I assured concerned onlookers that I had simply "eaten a lot of ketchup today"
My head is pounding and I need an ice pack for my vag. Successful friendsgiving!
For context, I was hiding under the pong table mooing at everyone by that point.
i think ive crossed the line from sexually frustrated to sexually furious
Do you remember peeing in the sink while I was throwing up?
No ma'am, I do not. I found a video of us trying to do a trust fall though. Emphasis on the trying.
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
can we not compare my dick to a children’s folk tale
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
Well, thanks for not letting me sleep with anyone, but no thanks for telling everyone I have the clap.
that may or may not have been my penis.
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