...just for future reference, one Four Loko can fits PERFECTLY in a venti iced coffee cup from Starbucks
Um he just came into the kitchen naked to get her purse or something?
Stripperoke is exactly what it sounds...
I hijacked a bellboy cart and rolled into the party dancing on it
We're doing kegstands for my 80th Bday, so don't lose that muscle tone.
Finally put clothes on I've been laying naked in the bed for approximately 4 hours since I showered and by showered I mean when I laid down in the bathtub with the shower on
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
It's always nice when a total stranger hates your ex just as much as you think they should.
Come over. But instead of sex, will you rub anti itch cream all over my face?
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
My date ended with her leaving the bar with that guy who used to jerk off in the back of the school bus.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
I'm sharing a breakfast burrito w my uber driver
I don't trust my subconscious. It sleeps with my exboyfriend sometimes.
Passed out in someones front yard last night. Got woke u?p by a lady walking her dog at 6am. Rock bottom.
Randomize
