i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
Look, all I'm sayin is $2 boilermakers and an expense account are probably a bad mix…
i said she could sleep in my bed and she goes "iiiiiiii warned you. iiiiim a cuddlerrrrrr!" slightly regretting this..
We're playing fucking games. GAMES. THIS IS BULL SHIT. IM GOING TO THROW UP ON THE BABIES AND LEAVE.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
Signs you do Molly too much. Glow sticks fallout of random articles of clothing on academic row
well you don't shave your pubes into a handlebar mustache and keep the party to yourself
So last night I turned down multiple drinks because "I didn't want to hold them". It's time reevaluate my decisions
I may have just tried to argue quantum entanglement as the reason I was still in her bed.
Woke up to your boyfriend in my bed last night. What's that about?
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
He came on my favorite pants. He is dead to me.
He just got really stoned and kept complementing my ponytail
Don't do it. It's 9 am on a Monday morning and I'm hungover. I can't deal with tears right now.
We were having sex and he started doing some weird swivel move. I was like wtf and he said sorry just trying to pop my knee.
Randomize
