Yeah...you.wanna.hang.out.tomorrow?My.space.button.is.broken.
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
no, i swear. she uses a huge jagermeister flag as a sheet on her bed.
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
Not a single person will look me in the eye. Last night must've been bad.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
my roommate just showed up covered in dirt, drunk....with a whole ice cream cake that says "it's a girl".
Being home sucks. I haven't drank in like a week. Or smoked cigs. Or done drugs. Or had sex. My body is shutting down.
Omg. It's like you're one of those deprived kids living in a third world country. We need to save you.
Told him I'd blow him in the bathroom. There was a giant window everyone was looking thru. He whipped it out n I burst out laughing n walked away. Even blackout drunk I set the bar high. You should be proud.
Ya. I wonder how much being a beard for a major league baseball player pays. This could be a lucrative arrangement...
Yeah, the email that I was sending to get an Escort for the weekend, copied and pasted to my boss, that should be interesting conversation, when I come back from Christmas vacation break.
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I just watched will sing pure imagination from willy wonka and then blow a banana
i woke up on someones kitchen floor, and i used the gps in my phone to find my way home. im really glad you forgot about me.
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
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