I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Thank God for loud music. There is a circus in my butt right now.
I am officially superior to you. I said "Go Go Gadget Dick" before I fucked her. I dare you to beat that.
you'll never believe how fucking awesome rain man is when you're stoned.
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I think making out with someone could be the cure to all my problems. That or more cowbell.
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
Dad's already had 6 Zionist conspiracy rants and moms trying to detect any "dark energies" in my soul. You have 4 days before you return to this shit: ENJOY THEM
I'm sure I'll run in to him again, there's only so many VA detoxes.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Pro tip: if you can avoid puking on your carpet, do so. Cleaning it up is absolutely no fun at all.
I wouldn't hate if he could handle a sex only type of ship. I really don't want to use the word "relation" in front of that.
He's just been a dick since he set his face on fire. I just wanted to eat a fucking hot dog.
Don't forget to grab a pregnancy test and sloppy joe mix for tonight
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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