Nope, Im Irish and pissed with some drunk mixed in...therefore punching things is the best solution to every problem.
My gyno actually laughed when I told her about his penis size.
so i asked him why he doesn't wanna see me anymore and he said he was questioning his sexuality. cool.
wasted. watching meteors, awesome idea i ever had, see 2 for every 1 with ma double vision
STOP fucking him and come play in the snow with us!
She's dressed as Musafa. How could this not be a good idea?
He cut part of his finger off. It was a consolation blow job.
she just punched a dude and called him a peasant for not drinking fast enough in flip cup.
I just heard "I just let you finger me on Megabus, I clearly don't have standards".
The cop asked you after the breathalyzer what you think you blew and you very discreetly shouted "I'm pretty sure i blew Kyle on the way here "
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
I can't help but look at my sex life and acknowledge that this is not normal behavior.
I used the phrase "love child of quasimodo and cyclops " in a sentence today.
I loaned him a tie and then had to tie it for him. I'm like his weird lesbian girlfriend.
Nothing ruins your day more than waking up to you dogs crotch in your face
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