I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
we where pretty evenly matched until he threw me through that wall
found inexpensive tickets to Norway. Questioning if its legal. PLEASE tell me you remebered the walkie talkies and face paint.
we convincced her parents we were only wasted meanwhile theire faces were morphing into one and i swear there was a reindeer in the background
Now that I'm hitting my bong, I realized I haven't missed something so much in a long time. I love Thomas the Dank Engine.
He said I was cute and he handed me a stuffed bear from his car. I don't care that he was 80, I named it Hector.
The funny thing is, we kinda did bring guys home cause you had a fort...
Also-when I die, I want it to be with my arms above my head so that when rigor mortis sets in, my breasts are perky.
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
He went down on me to the national anthem being sung by Jordan sparks. It was very patriotic of him
I can't get the smell of burned penis out of the house
i believe in u and ur pee
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
before i went to bed i wrote myself a note that says 'i feel all swirly'
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