I swear she didn't look like that last week.
Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
can't come out tonight. went to the bar again last night and the bartender hugged and thanked me so much for my "generosity." I'm intrigued but terrified to see my credit card bill.
He said he had a gf but the monogamy was "only implied".
She paints her nails the color of the sheets of the last guy she slept with
You were so high you insisted on spoon feeding me your KFC bowl while I was driving.
Was who let the dogs out playing?
Ya. You started barking when it ended
Denis dont give a fuck, Denis drinks out of straws. Denis disregards the fire station & bought 18 fire hoses so he can fight it himself if the farmhouse is on fire.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
When one of my seniors asked "Rough night?" I realized my poor decisions involving Tuesday night drinking did not go unnoticed.
I suppose we should both be prepared for the secret service to come visit us after this conversation. Hi NSA.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
IT TOOK ME LIKE AN HOUR TO DO THAT. DO YOU KNOW HOW HARD IT IS FOR ME TO CONCENTRATE ON ONE THING FOR AN ENTIRE HOUR?!
At what point did i decide poptarts, nyquil, and whiskey was a good idea?
Remember how slutty I thought she was when we were freshmen?
Yeah! But that was a long time ago. Plus, you use your sluttiness for good!
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