Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
A baby just go on our party bus. What. The. Fuck.
I wonder if he has realized that I have poured all if those shots he bought into the tip jar
Tough to say exactly how to play this. I just know people don't like surprises when genitals are involved.
I did the crab walk everywhere because I was drunk enough that it was easier than standing up.
Have you ever noticed that the cities in car commercials look really futuristic?
...did you eat that brownie?
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
So it took me 20 minutes to figure out that this is the wrong blind date. I'm going to go with it, he's cute and at least it's free beer.
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
went to class still drunk this morning and my professor made the class give me a round of applause and said, "see people, THIS is inspirational... if she can make it to class in this condition there is no excuse not to show up!"
He eats kale on the regular. Do I look like a bitch that wants to eat kale. No. Give me some Boston market.
Shame - the story of my life.
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