I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
When he came he sounded like a flock of birds hitting puberty
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
I take your giggles as a yes to operation McLaxitives?
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
Hold on - sidebar. My best friend just threw a 40 pack of condoms through my window.
I wouldn't say I LOVE Pacman. I mean, sure, I'd battle against you in an epic Pacman struggle for blow jobs and glory. But I mean, who wouldn't?
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)
I'm not sure. I have to find the Greeks I was with last night and see if they can explain to me why I can't hear out of my right ear and why I look like I got the shit kicked out of me
I volunteer to be the person who breaks into the room and runs around naked and has to be escorted out by police.
Omfg I just White Claw shamed a Girl Scout Cookie mom and I feel SO BAD.
Randomize
