Hoooooo maaaaan
Yes?
I'm retarded. Again.
so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
it tastes like there's a party in my mouth and everyone is throwing up
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
So I called her out for all the gossip she does and she's like "you do the same, bitch"
So I was like "Im classy like the Countess, youre just a bitch like Kim."
Kudos on the Interstate Housewife metaphor.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
Should we start at nine like normal people or now like alcoholics?
And then we made hashbrowns with vodka and queso.
Also I'm very proud of th fact that I walked my dog before bed. Drunk dog walking should be an Olympic sport; it takes SKILLS.
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
How drunk do you guys plan on getting?
We wrote our addresses on our arms for the cab driver, what do you think?
I literally just force feed a guy flintstone vitamins after sex
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
Where can I buy a stripper pole at midnight on a Sunday?
So my best friends wedding ended with everyone seeing me getting eaten out behind the forbes church. Classy!
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