Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
he yelled 'rock me amadeus!' when he came
i love that song!
NOT THE POINT
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
So the bar isnt gonna put that broken window on my tab. appaerently they want cash
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
She called all of my friends to find out where I was last night. 7 out of ten said their place.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
The ideal thing to do next party is to tape my boobs down so they don't knock over the pong cups while playing defense. They came back to hurt us this time
It's that moment where you find out the girl you've been dating for 6 months is a mob daughter. Post breakup.
At some point, it turned less into sparring and more into tough guy dry humping.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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