i cvme to yuor rooom...wherer are youf?
please be gone before i get back
I can't get out of the parking garage so now I'm staying downtown....Typical
lol earlier she was acting like a normal gf... and then BANG! shes touching herself again...
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
my breakfast just consisted of gushers (made with real fruit!) and they're trying to tell me im not eating right?
my girlfriend just compared my daughters eyes to gollum from lord of the rings.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Even though he had a fractured vertebrae, the sex was still phenomenal. Better than normal actually. I hope the vertabrae never heals.
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
Did you really think putting a napkin over your head would make you giving him a bj less obvious?
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
You threw him in the dryer?
He went in of his own accord. Mumbled something about experiencing the blossoming of popcorn.
Randomize