Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
I just hit a new low..poured my beer in an empty coke can so I could drink in walmart.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
The last thing I remember was talking about the economic viability of cock ring manufacturing... we had some good ideas
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
I have a lot of questions this morning, most of them start with "Did I..."
I like how zombie Abe Lincoln and hooking up with a girl were on your same thought process.
On one hand it was kinda weird his girlfriends stuff was at his apartment. On the other hand it was kinda nice because she had great shampoo
When our dicks touched he made a lightsaber noise.
I was riding him and in the middle he literally said "fuck yeah, Amy Winehouse"
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
Ewe he just snapped me a pic of his butt crack.. Should I be concerned?
i only got to wear my halloween costume for an half hour before it got taken off.
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