Rescue me. My white trash great uncle just pulled out his belly at the restaurant to show us how big this woman's tit was
guys are not supposed to queef...right?
She's sitting on the couch buck naked, eating a cupcake for dinner. I'm breaking new ground as a parent here.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
That man gives me hope. I can't help it. And by "hope" I mean "wood."
I don't see how you can turn down creme brulee and orgasms
Is there a polite way to say "Sorry for your head injury but I still want to hook up"?
Prop 8 repealed and I FINALLY got my period. Good day for America!!!
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
things i am: 1) still drunk 2) still wearing my leopard onesie 3) still gonna make my 9am lecture despite the odds CAN I GET A HIGH FIVE
Randomize