Help. Asians are flirting in front of me(773): They speak asian
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
I'm handcuffed to the toilet. Don't ask
She said my dick tasted like a junior mint. Ive decided im using this soap the rest of my life
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
His search history includes homemade sex toys and a plunger. I'm scared about what goes on in their place.
This costume is too restrictive. The priest and I cannot get it on while I am wearing it.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
Soooooo I may or may not have accidentally been a catalyst in a destroyed marriage.
Got so drunk last night I kinda sent a super on point sext to his kid sister...say a prayer man
We all just got ice cream, condoms, and toilet paper now were gonna go home and watch movies as a family.
Condoms?
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
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