You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
After we hooked up, he left the room and no one has seen him since last night. That kid redefined hit it and quit it.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
No, he attached a coozie to his crutches so he can carry his beer around the party.
is there a reason blood came out of my hair in the shower?
head injury at diner. you headbutted the wall a few times because it got in your way
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
They invented a new game at work. Its called guess if I'm baked, hungover, drunk, or some combination of the three. Its surprisingly very difficult..
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
I just paid my school fees like a real adult who doesn't get accidentally drunk on a Tuesday night
We fucked to Bonnie Tyler in my car. He's the one.
I gave him a hand job in the parking lot... now he thinks we're meant for each other...
I slept with six men with different nationalities this week. Who says I'm not a woman of culture?
Randomize
