Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
i just checked to make sure valentines day this year was on a weekend assuming ill want to be drunk all day
hearing about your life makes me feel so good about mine
Smoking bowl and applying to community college. I now know how I got here.
i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Dude i thought about you literally the second after I came. This friendship is starting to cross some serious boundaries
He titled his birthday party on facebook, "BJ's in PJ's- an adult slumber party." I'm the only one invited.
she says she's going to shake me awake in 15min intervals if I pass out
this was your mom?
I will cut you
Oddly enough thats the second time today someones said that to me
Put that in perspective
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I'm drinking and making muffins and I believe this is why God put us on earth.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
So I sent him a snap of me half naked holding a pie last night.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
Sorry, my phone died and I decide to charge my vibrator instead. #priorities
Tell me that I didn't just get ash in my Russian and just mix it TF in bc who cares and life has no meaning.
Randomize
